Hi Friends, Im going to jump right in to this here. Last blog i ended on a very stark thought. So i want to pick up right there.
"the question that struck me most devastatingly
while reading this book was, "what if God never existed in the first place, and
the bible was the greatest myth ever told?" Because if i can't hear, see, smell,
touch, God then maybe He isn't real?"
When my Faith in God, something i value so deeply, was threatened and my fears took hold of me Those fears escalated from Bad to worse to hopeless.
As i spent time thinking about my question I began to feel that Life would be
utterly meaningless if i found myself to be fully convinced that God is not real.
where would i go to find all the things that Christianity seemingly promised? Things like Truth, Hope, Joy, Love, Peace, satisfaction, Heaven? what else on this earth could promise and follow through with providing
these things?
With everything on earth being bound to death and decay what can a person trust in to provide these things. If anything, all that can be offered is a distraction for a time being. No matter the vainness or value nor the beastliness or beauty of your treasure it will, In my opinion, all find itself unable to live up to the great expectations that Jesus Offers in his Message.
But what about those who have dedicated their lives to Christianity and still
find themselves lacking Truth, Hope, Joy, Love, Peace, Satisfaction, Heaven?
This is my kryptonite. Why does the bible speak on things seemingly so clearly
and yet when you lean on those words you find yourself disappointed? Example: Why do some prayers get answered and others do not? Why do some people get healed of physical ailment and others suffer and or die? Is God lying? Is God even there? Or is the fault to found within man and our interpretation and understanding of the Bible?
Well to make things a bit more interesting and stir things up a bit here is a
story a friend that i respect and trust sent me about his experience with Faith and Prayer.
"I was leading an outreach in Uganda. We had been ministering there for about a week running open air type meetings preaching the gospel and praying for the sick. Anyways during one of these meetings I saw standing at the back of the
crowd a man I thought I had met the previous night. I walked over to this man
and began to talk to him. It soon became clear that this was not the same man I
met last night and it also became clear that this man was deaf and mute. So I
began praying for his healing and the restoration of his speech and hearing.
Nothing happened for about half an hour. Finally God put it on my mind to pray
against a deaf and dumb spirit. So I did! I began to click my fingers next to his ear and he responded to the sound. I got excited and began speaking out the name Jesus . Evey time he was responding to it. God opened his ears so I now placed my hands on his throat as he still couldn't talk. All of a sudden he began to mimic the words J, my fiend with me, was speaking which was the name Jesus.
God totally opened his ears and loosened his tongue and the first words he ever
spoke and heard was Jesus. His healing was later confirmed by his good friend
who told us that his once deaf friend was now watching a lot of T.V. as it was the
first time that he could hear what was happening."
There are things that cannot be explained by the laws of this world. I don't understand why Some people get healed and others don't. But the fact is that People do get miraculously healed at times. So where does that leave us?
I'll keep going next week
thanks for reading
Sean
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
I Doubt....
hey everyone,
So before i get into the meat of this post i want to do a quick to the point update of things happening with me. Then if you want to keep reading about My "mein kanpf" (My Struggle), my questions and so forth, then please do keep reading.
OOOOOK. SO I'm still in LA right now. My roommates and I are getting much closer to finishing Ryans feature film "Turning Point", you can check out the films blog at (www.turningpointthemovie.blogspot.com)
Filming has slowed down due to scheduling issues with all the actors and crew but the main issue has been the weather. It's caused a bit of a hindrance.
MOVING FOR THE WINTER
Coming November 12th ill be catching a flight to the beautiful winter and cold of Toledo Ohio! I'll be spending the winter with my good friends Steve and Lia Risk for a few months. The main reasons for me going are to A) Work and get out of debt and 2) Spend time away from LA life and really put an effort into getting peace of mind on so many questions i have about Life's events over the last 2 years.
If all works out as hoped I'll be working with my friend Steve as his assistant, maintaining all the equipment at a steel factory.
Until i leave I'll be helping the church I attend, Reality LA, create a series of short interviews for their website. I'll also be helping a friend shoot his comedy web series called "Bro's".
Well, that's it as far as doing things goes. Thank you for checking in. If you want to keep reading thanks and i look forward to any conversation that comes from my questions.
"My Struggle"
Before i get into this. I realize a lot of my readers may be people i met through ministry with YWAM and some people are ones i once mentored and ministered to on a very close bases. The sharing of my struggles isn't intended to be a "seed of doubt" to those of you who pursue a Christian life. My intention is to open conversation, between all beliefs, that will hopefully help me in my struggle, but also provoke deep thought in people.
If you're a person of faith and my questions and doubts are painful for you to read, then pray for me and know i don't enjoy these questions but feel a need to engage them. And if you aren't a person of faith then please know that i ask these questions simply to enter the never ending conversation of "God or No God". And I hope to find peace and solidification, or assurance, of my beliefs through this.
The only way i can think of opening this is by stating the over arching theme.
I DOUBT..
When an individual goes through a traumatic or difficult event, it's in those times that their beliefs are put to the test. And this is my Event, testing my beliefs to the core.
Coming out of a consuming cloud of Christian community into loneliness and solitude i watched myself slowly despair of the hopes i had. The plans i had hoped in all slowly failed. So this leads me to ask, "did i really hear God?" I don't think this is a illogical question, as long as you don't already hold the notion that belief in "God" in of itself is Illogical. But in that case asking the question "did i really hear God?" would be the first time i had acted in a logical manner.
Hearing God is such a cryptic task. In westernized countries, when was the last time you heard of a crowd hearing the thundering voice of God from heaven? When you ask a person of faith "how did you hear the voice of God, and how do you know it was God?" the usual answer is something along the lines of, "i just know" or "i felt it was God speaking".
I don't have any issue with these answers. I've heard and seen a lot of people doing great things through leading's of such. Even personally i can say i had "God lead me through a feeling" and in one case It may had led to an individual not committing suicide. So you may be wondering why i am wrestling with this then? I suppose its a human condition, to disregard the past and focus on the present of future. Here i am today after following the same beliefs for years and "gut feelings", some times spending weeks with out food and hours daily in prayer, seeking guidance from God. But Where is He now? I followed the rules of Christianity, I gave my time to people and helped others and gave so much of my resources to helping people too. But still i ended up in a hurting state.
I suppose if you look at this through the lens of Jesus' life you can say, "well Jesus was the son of God, perfect in every way 'following the rules of Christianity'(or creating them) and still he had no home, no food at times, and then he was hated and murdered." But here is the difference, Jesus was totally unwavering in his conviction that he was the Son of God and he anticipated his forsaking of home, friend and death. Not only was Jesus mentally prepared for his life but he also did miraculous things daily.
What better way to to be encouraged daily then to say "Get up, take your mat and walk!" and see crippled people totally restored. I read a book lately that made the conclusion that God is and has moved from His magnificent and powerful public acts to a more inner and intimate way of revealing himself to people. The authors explanation for this theory was that he saw the character person of God getting frustrated with his people, the Israelite's, and fed up with their constant disregard of his leading and desires for Humanity. So God changed his tactics. And now here, 2000 or so years later we are people of "Spiritual Worship" (john 4). But that leads to ask, are the times of God's miraculous and unquestionable ways over with? is God silent? Has he left his works to the faithful followers of his teachings? Or the question that struck me most devastatingly while reading this book, "what if God never existed in the first place, and the bible was the greatest myth ever told?" Because if i can't hear, see, smell, touch, God then maybe He isn't real?
I'm going to stop here for time sake and soaking sake for the readers. Ill pick up again next week.
Like i said i welcome any conversation and thoughts or comments to these.
Love you all
Sean
So before i get into the meat of this post i want to do a quick to the point update of things happening with me. Then if you want to keep reading about My "mein kanpf" (My Struggle), my questions and so forth, then please do keep reading.
OOOOOK. SO I'm still in LA right now. My roommates and I are getting much closer to finishing Ryans feature film "Turning Point", you can check out the films blog at (www.turningpointthemovie.blogspot.com)
Filming has slowed down due to scheduling issues with all the actors and crew but the main issue has been the weather. It's caused a bit of a hindrance.
MOVING FOR THE WINTER
Coming November 12th ill be catching a flight to the beautiful winter and cold of Toledo Ohio! I'll be spending the winter with my good friends Steve and Lia Risk for a few months. The main reasons for me going are to A) Work and get out of debt and 2) Spend time away from LA life and really put an effort into getting peace of mind on so many questions i have about Life's events over the last 2 years.
If all works out as hoped I'll be working with my friend Steve as his assistant, maintaining all the equipment at a steel factory.
Until i leave I'll be helping the church I attend, Reality LA, create a series of short interviews for their website. I'll also be helping a friend shoot his comedy web series called "Bro's".
Well, that's it as far as doing things goes. Thank you for checking in. If you want to keep reading thanks and i look forward to any conversation that comes from my questions.
"My Struggle"
Before i get into this. I realize a lot of my readers may be people i met through ministry with YWAM and some people are ones i once mentored and ministered to on a very close bases. The sharing of my struggles isn't intended to be a "seed of doubt" to those of you who pursue a Christian life. My intention is to open conversation, between all beliefs, that will hopefully help me in my struggle, but also provoke deep thought in people.
If you're a person of faith and my questions and doubts are painful for you to read, then pray for me and know i don't enjoy these questions but feel a need to engage them. And if you aren't a person of faith then please know that i ask these questions simply to enter the never ending conversation of "God or No God". And I hope to find peace and solidification, or assurance, of my beliefs through this.
The only way i can think of opening this is by stating the over arching theme.
I DOUBT..
When an individual goes through a traumatic or difficult event, it's in those times that their beliefs are put to the test. And this is my Event, testing my beliefs to the core.
Coming out of a consuming cloud of Christian community into loneliness and solitude i watched myself slowly despair of the hopes i had. The plans i had hoped in all slowly failed. So this leads me to ask, "did i really hear God?" I don't think this is a illogical question, as long as you don't already hold the notion that belief in "God" in of itself is Illogical. But in that case asking the question "did i really hear God?" would be the first time i had acted in a logical manner.
Hearing God is such a cryptic task. In westernized countries, when was the last time you heard of a crowd hearing the thundering voice of God from heaven? When you ask a person of faith "how did you hear the voice of God, and how do you know it was God?" the usual answer is something along the lines of, "i just know" or "i felt it was God speaking".
I don't have any issue with these answers. I've heard and seen a lot of people doing great things through leading's of such. Even personally i can say i had "God lead me through a feeling" and in one case It may had led to an individual not committing suicide. So you may be wondering why i am wrestling with this then? I suppose its a human condition, to disregard the past and focus on the present of future. Here i am today after following the same beliefs for years and "gut feelings", some times spending weeks with out food and hours daily in prayer, seeking guidance from God. But Where is He now? I followed the rules of Christianity, I gave my time to people and helped others and gave so much of my resources to helping people too. But still i ended up in a hurting state.
I suppose if you look at this through the lens of Jesus' life you can say, "well Jesus was the son of God, perfect in every way 'following the rules of Christianity'(or creating them) and still he had no home, no food at times, and then he was hated and murdered." But here is the difference, Jesus was totally unwavering in his conviction that he was the Son of God and he anticipated his forsaking of home, friend and death. Not only was Jesus mentally prepared for his life but he also did miraculous things daily.
What better way to to be encouraged daily then to say "Get up, take your mat and walk!" and see crippled people totally restored. I read a book lately that made the conclusion that God is and has moved from His magnificent and powerful public acts to a more inner and intimate way of revealing himself to people. The authors explanation for this theory was that he saw the character person of God getting frustrated with his people, the Israelite's, and fed up with their constant disregard of his leading and desires for Humanity. So God changed his tactics. And now here, 2000 or so years later we are people of "Spiritual Worship" (john 4). But that leads to ask, are the times of God's miraculous and unquestionable ways over with? is God silent? Has he left his works to the faithful followers of his teachings? Or the question that struck me most devastatingly while reading this book, "what if God never existed in the first place, and the bible was the greatest myth ever told?" Because if i can't hear, see, smell, touch, God then maybe He isn't real?
I'm going to stop here for time sake and soaking sake for the readers. Ill pick up again next week.
Like i said i welcome any conversation and thoughts or comments to these.
Love you all
Sean
Monday, October 11, 2010
तुर्निंग पॉइंट
Sorry my titling for some reason is changing the language to Hindi. It says "TURNING POINT"
Turning point is a "coming of age" film about 3 boys that take a road trip after they graduate high school and the way their lives are changed on that trip.
I'm doing Sound. So i get to crawl on the ground and hide with my friend Chase where ever we can so we get good sound! I'm not acting in this but there may be a cameo somewhere.
San Diego and Fake-en it San Diego In Malibu shooting
Palm Springs (Desert Shooting) spent 2 days out in the desert
Driving up the coast of CA, having car scars and stoping in Morro Bay!
Really hating the morning here and then heading to the water fall to film
Back on the road up to San Francisco trying to make Sunset.
Well, we didn't make sunset but shot anyways and then headed home to LA 2 hours later
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The timing of an unmeasurable God is something to consider in all events. The God of the bible has been studied and contemplated for a long, long time. But still no one can put a finger on what he will do or when He will do it. I guess that's the adventure ahead of those who in faith follow after what they interpret as the leading of the Holy Spirit. It's a trek that can destroy and devastate you or destroy and recreate you.
For that last 18 months i followed after what i interpreted as the leading of the Holy Spirit, as the leading of Gods divine plan for my life. And in this pursuit i have failed many times as a "Godly individual, loving individual, patient, kind, honest, and steadfast individual. I've talked with many close friends and family about my feelings and heartache, feelings of abandonment, confusion, anger, and anxiety. It would seem that all i cared for or wanted has deflated, just like my blow up mattress with its new tinny whole. But i fear that just like that tinny whole in my air mattress, these months have deflated me and left me on the floor. My personal faith has become staggeringly questionable, not because of a blatant sinful lifestyle. But through the vastness of many questions rooted from a lack of understanding of God, my situation and the situation of the world. I suppose those three topics have been circling the minds of mankind since the beginning of humanity, but the need to wrestle with those questions is of no lesser value because of that.
I can feel my heart growing hardened to the "things of God". Things like prayer and worship, loving others and having compassion are seemingly farther away than ever. But in this deep wrestling match I've seen myself turn ever more passionately to the scriptures. I'm looking into them like a prosecuting lawyer, looking for the true nature of this "God" and his supposed Son for good or for worse. I hate the attitude of my approach, The words, "but the proud will be turned away" resonate in my ears. The deep desire to know this Gods character is what drives me in my search.
Being so encapsulated in the Church for most of my life there are things that i know i have adopted as biblical theology that are false. I'm afraid this is the case for much of the western church that I've come accustom too. So I'm starting from "Ground Zero" and rebuilding by reading through the whole bible and staring intensively at how God reacts to the Israelites and how thy act towards Him and How he wants them to act towards Him and others.
This is most likely a very confusing update for most of you, and a very worrying one as well. you may be thinking "Oh Dear, Sean has lost his faith and become a backslider". And the painful and bleak truth is, Yes, maybe i have. But, BUT! I still have Hope that i will see a brilliant and wonderful God as well as a revolutionary and practical Holy Spirit Led Jesus while searching the scriptures and be recreated.
As much as i fear and slowly approach the questions and life changing choices that possibly lay ahead, I feel that if I'm to become an authentic world changing Believer i have to venture this road. I've been told by many people who God is. And now i need to discover Him on my own. It's like someones been showing me a picture of this God all my life and and I've never met Him before. I want to be "convinced in my faith, and not just have faith". I know many people who have done wonderful things and miraculous things in the name if Jesus. I can see and feel their authentic passion for those around them. They obtain an incorruptible Love for God and others. I earnestly desire that. And as my world and the things i hoped in crumble around me and i search deep into this dark cave filled with emotions of loneliness and despair i have a hope that i will come out recreated.
So as i journey in the unknown time line of a Unmeasurable God I hope that you'll come with me. I'm sure I'm not the only one wrestling with so many seemingly unanswerable questions. But i hope that through exploring these things I'll get a better idea of who God is and then Truly Grow in Love with Him.
Faith, Hope and Love...Right? even when you think you're blind and deaf.
Much Love
Sean
For that last 18 months i followed after what i interpreted as the leading of the Holy Spirit, as the leading of Gods divine plan for my life. And in this pursuit i have failed many times as a "Godly individual, loving individual, patient, kind, honest, and steadfast individual. I've talked with many close friends and family about my feelings and heartache, feelings of abandonment, confusion, anger, and anxiety. It would seem that all i cared for or wanted has deflated, just like my blow up mattress with its new tinny whole. But i fear that just like that tinny whole in my air mattress, these months have deflated me and left me on the floor. My personal faith has become staggeringly questionable, not because of a blatant sinful lifestyle. But through the vastness of many questions rooted from a lack of understanding of God, my situation and the situation of the world. I suppose those three topics have been circling the minds of mankind since the beginning of humanity, but the need to wrestle with those questions is of no lesser value because of that.
I can feel my heart growing hardened to the "things of God". Things like prayer and worship, loving others and having compassion are seemingly farther away than ever. But in this deep wrestling match I've seen myself turn ever more passionately to the scriptures. I'm looking into them like a prosecuting lawyer, looking for the true nature of this "God" and his supposed Son for good or for worse. I hate the attitude of my approach, The words, "but the proud will be turned away" resonate in my ears. The deep desire to know this Gods character is what drives me in my search.
Being so encapsulated in the Church for most of my life there are things that i know i have adopted as biblical theology that are false. I'm afraid this is the case for much of the western church that I've come accustom too. So I'm starting from "Ground Zero" and rebuilding by reading through the whole bible and staring intensively at how God reacts to the Israelites and how thy act towards Him and How he wants them to act towards Him and others.
This is most likely a very confusing update for most of you, and a very worrying one as well. you may be thinking "Oh Dear, Sean has lost his faith and become a backslider". And the painful and bleak truth is, Yes, maybe i have. But, BUT! I still have Hope that i will see a brilliant and wonderful God as well as a revolutionary and practical Holy Spirit Led Jesus while searching the scriptures and be recreated.
As much as i fear and slowly approach the questions and life changing choices that possibly lay ahead, I feel that if I'm to become an authentic world changing Believer i have to venture this road. I've been told by many people who God is. And now i need to discover Him on my own. It's like someones been showing me a picture of this God all my life and and I've never met Him before. I want to be "convinced in my faith, and not just have faith". I know many people who have done wonderful things and miraculous things in the name if Jesus. I can see and feel their authentic passion for those around them. They obtain an incorruptible Love for God and others. I earnestly desire that. And as my world and the things i hoped in crumble around me and i search deep into this dark cave filled with emotions of loneliness and despair i have a hope that i will come out recreated.
So as i journey in the unknown time line of a Unmeasurable God I hope that you'll come with me. I'm sure I'm not the only one wrestling with so many seemingly unanswerable questions. But i hope that through exploring these things I'll get a better idea of who God is and then Truly Grow in Love with Him.
Faith, Hope and Love...Right? even when you think you're blind and deaf.
Much Love
Sean
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Future
Hey everyone. Its been a long time, too long. So many of you know that i did not win the Roommate of the Year contest. I was a runner up though and will get a small check for that! Earlier this month a old friend ( Henry) and his up and coming band You Hang Up came to Universal Citywalk here in Hollywood to play their second show on a month long tour. It was a good night of catching up and getting to meet some new folks.
You Hang Up Live at Universal Citywalk
Back To Australia?
Some Important info and something i would love for all my readers to keep me in prayer for. I was recently contacted by a film company located where i use to live Australia and offered a job! This was a big shock considering i never even applied for a job, but was recommended by a friend out there. I'm currently in......i guess you can call it "negotiations". We are discussing the in's and out's of the positions responsibilities and things like that. If this does go through i could be back in Australia as soon as November or December. if you would please bring this before God in prayer, asking for his will and desire to happen in this situation i would really appreciate it.
Other then that, things in LA are...well... they are. I'm still looking for work and as a house we are still moving forward to make my roommates film in the end of September God willing. We're all doing good keeping busy editing, writing, filming, and having fun. Please keep us all in prayer too and for my personal faith as well. I dealing with a lot of questions and emotions about life and my faith and desperately want to hold on to Jesus but am having a hard time doing that.
thanks for everything
Much love and talk soon!
Sean
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Making some stuff!
Hey everyone, Thanks for voting for my Roommate Of The Year contest entry. There are still a couple weeks left. So please keep voting, you can vote once every 24 hours. right now my video is in the top 6 videos! so please keep passing on the word and voting everyday.
Ok so bellow is a music video my roommates and i shot for a band out of Ireland called Friends Of Emmit. The song is based on a true story about a man named Kevin Hines who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge in San Francisco. Kevin survived the jump and now runs an Aid organization helping people with mental illness's. I know that Kevin's P.R. people are sending this video to major networks so there is a possibility that it will be played on MTV, Fuse TV and a national morning show with a interview with Kevin. So pray for that. It would be really good exposure for all of us who worked on it as filmmakers.
next week i'll write more on personal things happening in life.
Love you all and thanks for checking in. Please continue to pray for all of us at the house and for work for me! thanks
Ok so bellow is a music video my roommates and i shot for a band out of Ireland called Friends Of Emmit. The song is based on a true story about a man named Kevin Hines who attempted suicide by jumping off the Golden Gate bridge in San Francisco. Kevin survived the jump and now runs an Aid organization helping people with mental illness's. I know that Kevin's P.R. people are sending this video to major networks so there is a possibility that it will be played on MTV, Fuse TV and a national morning show with a interview with Kevin. So pray for that. It would be really good exposure for all of us who worked on it as filmmakers.
next week i'll write more on personal things happening in life.
Love you all and thanks for checking in. Please continue to pray for all of us at the house and for work for me! thanks
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Help Me Win!
If you happen to stumble across this blog or you're a devoted follower please take a second where ever you are and help me make a documentary by simply voting for my contest entry "super star rommmate" athttp://roommateoftheyear.com/videos/112/super-star-rommate!
If i win, i get 10,000 in Cash and a year of rent covered! I'll be using the cash to fund a documentary film in Indonesia on the sex trade and child abuse.
Thanks for reading and voting!
Sean
If i win, i get 10,000 in Cash and a year of rent covered! I'll be using the cash to fund a documentary film in Indonesia on the sex trade and child abuse.
Thanks for reading and voting!
Sean
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Growing
Hi Friends,
The past few weeks have been refreshing and encouraging. Getting moved in, meeting new people and getting back in church has been really good for me. I didn't realize this when I moved in, but my apartment is in the middle of the Media District. There are three major film and T.V. studios with in walking distance of my place and numerous post production houses but sadly no work for me. Oh well, you can pray for a job for me.
God has provided a lot of material blessings sense moving here, but more importantly, Gods word is taking root in me in a new way. I'm learning the difference between reading the bible and standing on it (figuratively of course). I find myself having to choose to believe and act on the words I read. You choose to let the spirit of God and life work in you or you choose to let the spirit of the world and death work in you by the choices you make. Right? I may be wording this poorly, sorry if I am.
Ok I don't want to get too deep in this post; I just wanted to give a quick update for you guys.
A couple things I could use prayer for.
1) Encouragement in my documentary project and for the right people to get involved and for the story to be the one God wants to tell. The road to making the documentary has been much longer then I anticipated and some people may be backing out causing the whole story I have to change.
2) Prayer for love, unity and grace among all my roommates.
3) Favor with an online video contest. I could win a lot of money from it!
4) A job or some sort of income, I’m finding it harder doing what I am now, financially then when I was in YWAM.
5) That my faith and lifestyle will be worthy of being a child of God.
Ok love ya guys
I’ll try and update more often now that I've settled in a bit.
P.S. give some feed back on the new layout? Can everyone read everything easily enough? If you want to check out old posts you can by going to the right of the page and opening the Archive
Sean
The past few weeks have been refreshing and encouraging. Getting moved in, meeting new people and getting back in church has been really good for me. I didn't realize this when I moved in, but my apartment is in the middle of the Media District. There are three major film and T.V. studios with in walking distance of my place and numerous post production houses but sadly no work for me. Oh well, you can pray for a job for me.
God has provided a lot of material blessings sense moving here, but more importantly, Gods word is taking root in me in a new way. I'm learning the difference between reading the bible and standing on it (figuratively of course). I find myself having to choose to believe and act on the words I read. You choose to let the spirit of God and life work in you or you choose to let the spirit of the world and death work in you by the choices you make. Right? I may be wording this poorly, sorry if I am.
Ok I don't want to get too deep in this post; I just wanted to give a quick update for you guys.
A couple things I could use prayer for.
1) Encouragement in my documentary project and for the right people to get involved and for the story to be the one God wants to tell. The road to making the documentary has been much longer then I anticipated and some people may be backing out causing the whole story I have to change.
2) Prayer for love, unity and grace among all my roommates.
3) Favor with an online video contest. I could win a lot of money from it!
4) A job or some sort of income, I’m finding it harder doing what I am now, financially then when I was in YWAM.
5) That my faith and lifestyle will be worthy of being a child of God.
Ok love ya guys
I’ll try and update more often now that I've settled in a bit.
P.S. give some feed back on the new layout? Can everyone read everything easily enough? If you want to check out old posts you can by going to the right of the page and opening the Archive
Sean
Friday, May 7, 2010
Hollywood
Hey everyone, Life has been pretty crazy lately and I want to start this off with saying God is full of surprises! Yesterday afternoon I finished a two week journey promoting "Sex Diaries" up the coast of California! I went from San Diego to Santa Barbara to San Francisco to Los Angeles.
Kicking off the trip I went and saw good friends, Sean and Emily Naus. That weekend Sean and I went on a Men’s retreat with Reality Church to Big Bear (outside of L.A.). The Men’s retreat was the perfect beginning for my journey. God really worked on me and showed me things I had to repent from.
He was very helpful and gave me good advise on how to continue promoting the film but was not able to give anything towards the funding of the film.
After trying to contact several church's and hearing back from no one and even having a Indonesian pastor who couldn’t speak English well hang on me I Felt like the trip had been in vain. But I hoped God was going to do something great and made the most of my time there. While in S.F. I attended the International S.F. film festival and tried to make connections, but i think the SFFS(San Francisco Film Society) who hosted the event was a bit swamped to set up time to talk. Later that week i had a chance to catch up with a old friend from high school, Alison, and talk with two girls who are leading a ministry called "Becuase Justice Matters", ( a ministry focused on ministering to the prostitutes of S.F.)
After a few days in S.F. i jumped back on the train and headed on a 12 ride to L.A. to meet up with friend Ryan Moser and promote the film at YWAM L.A. ( which is actually in San Fernando not LA) and meet with a film producer Mike Leahy
(YWAM L.A.)
For the last 9 months I have been jumping from couch to couch and a sense of unease has been growing in me. I’ve been praying and wondering what God has been planning. While i was in San Francisco i went to a morning bible study with some homeless guys at the YWAM base. The scripture in discussion was Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
Over the last week i had been praying "Lord lead me, direct me". I had no idea what He had planned!
While I was in L.A. I had been talking to my friend Ryan about moving to there after i spent a few months in Prescott, AZ working. But one night while browsing apartments in L.A. for the future i "stumbled" across a little gold nugget, A small apartment in the heart of Hollywood, for a reasonable price.
Ryan didn’t believe it was real so I called on it and we checked in out. After talking with some other guys and praying about it and praying about it some more we applied and got approved!
The apartment is two miles from Reality Church L.A., a few blocks from Hollywood blvd. and 4 blocks from High Voltage Tattoo, home of "L.A. Ink"! It was too perfect to pass up.
I'll be setting up Home base in Hollywood for the next year at least. I'm still running First Fruits Productions and am hoping to establish it as a legitimate company, producing "Sex Diaries" and other future films! I have great hopes for the next season of life, and hope those of you who have watched this story will stayed tooned!
Kicking off the trip I went and saw good friends, Sean and Emily Naus. That weekend Sean and I went on a Men’s retreat with Reality Church to Big Bear (outside of L.A.). The Men’s retreat was the perfect beginning for my journey. God really worked on me and showed me things I had to repent from.
(Sean and Emily Naus)
Over the year my heart towards God was being hardened because things weren’t working out like I hoped. I robed myself of the blessings that come from serving God with a grateful and trusting attitude. Its all about God, His grace and mercy save us. It's good to get refocused on Him!
I stayed with YWAM San Francisco in the tenderloins (home to 30 plus illegal brothels). It was a bit of a culture shock just being in the middle of that for a few days. I met with Tim Svoboda, YWAM S.F. base leader, and pitched the film. 
He was very helpful and gave me good advise on how to continue promoting the film but was not able to give anything towards the funding of the film.
After trying to contact several church's and hearing back from no one and even having a Indonesian pastor who couldn’t speak English well hang on me I Felt like the trip had been in vain. But I hoped God was going to do something great and made the most of my time there. While in S.F. I attended the International S.F. film festival and tried to make connections, but i think the SFFS(San Francisco Film Society) who hosted the event was a bit swamped to set up time to talk. Later that week i had a chance to catch up with a old friend from high school, Alison, and talk with two girls who are leading a ministry called "Becuase Justice Matters", ( a ministry focused on ministering to the prostitutes of S.F.)
After a few days in S.F. i jumped back on the train and headed on a 12 ride to L.A. to meet up with friend Ryan Moser and promote the film at YWAM L.A. ( which is actually in San Fernando not LA) and meet with a film producer Mike Leahy
(YWAM L.A.)
For the last 9 months I have been jumping from couch to couch and a sense of unease has been growing in me. I’ve been praying and wondering what God has been planning. While i was in San Francisco i went to a morning bible study with some homeless guys at the YWAM base. The scripture in discussion was Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
Over the last week i had been praying "Lord lead me, direct me". I had no idea what He had planned!
While I was in L.A. I had been talking to my friend Ryan about moving to there after i spent a few months in Prescott, AZ working. But one night while browsing apartments in L.A. for the future i "stumbled" across a little gold nugget, A small apartment in the heart of Hollywood, for a reasonable price.
Ryan didn’t believe it was real so I called on it and we checked in out. After talking with some other guys and praying about it and praying about it some more we applied and got approved!
The apartment is two miles from Reality Church L.A., a few blocks from Hollywood blvd. and 4 blocks from High Voltage Tattoo, home of "L.A. Ink"! It was too perfect to pass up.
I'll be setting up Home base in Hollywood for the next year at least. I'm still running First Fruits Productions and am hoping to establish it as a legitimate company, producing "Sex Diaries" and other future films! I have great hopes for the next season of life, and hope those of you who have watched this story will stayed tooned!
My Heart is still to use the platform God has given me to share Jesus with people. I can’t think of any better place to to do that!
Please keep me and the 3 other guys in prayer who are moving in together. Pray for unity, love, patients and wisdom.
What a journey!
Monday, March 22, 2010
Ohio and Back
Hey everyone, I'm back in sunny San Diego! Recently I was in Ohio helping some friends remodel their kitchen! My time there went by extremely fast and amidst all the work and play God made time for me to finish the official film proposal and meet with a churchs mission's pastor!
(Random Toronto trip)
Very IMPORTANT note, I talked with YWAM Tyler and was informed; even though I am still YWAM sunshine coast staff, I cannot receive donations through YWAM Tyler because I have been away from my "home base" for an extended period. So if you have been faithfully supporting me through YWAM Tyler, i appologize for not letting you know sooner, but i have not been recieving your donations. But dont worry it has gone to someone or some other ministry needing support.
(Random Toronto trip)
Now back in San Diego
im hitting the books,
the phone books that is,
and trying to get funding
for the film.
Very IMPORTANT note, I talked with YWAM Tyler and was informed; even though I am still YWAM sunshine coast staff, I cannot receive donations through YWAM Tyler because I have been away from my "home base" for an extended period. So if you have been faithfully supporting me through YWAM Tyler, i appologize for not letting you know sooner, but i have not been recieving your donations. But dont worry it has gone to someone or some other ministry needing support. 
(Niagara Falls)
If you still want to support me, you can by PAY PAL (on the top right side of this page) or by Wells Fargo bank. I opened a new bank account and no longer have my old one (ending in ******2466). If you would like my bank Details you can email me at seanmarin1987@netscape.net.
Thanks for keep'n up with me.
"Ya Heard!"
Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates his love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us."
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